Is greeting someone who looks Chinese with "ni hao ma" okay?
To my Asian fam,
There’s been a bit of talk about recent Masterchef evictee Sarah Tiong’s interview on Triple M Sunraysia. Was it racist? Why did she react so strongly? And why didn’t she do anything in the moment to educate them?
Firstly, what went down? Well Sarah called out a Triple M Sunraysia host greeting her by saying “ni hao ma”, followed by, “Oh wait, would it be lei ho ma? Anyway” as racism. Some of us don’t seem to see this as racism. In fact, some of us seem to see this as a kind gesture, trying to greet us in our own language, and that they didn’t intend any harm or malice by this, so it’s not racist, right?
Let’s unpack this first idea, that it’s a nice gesture. But why is it nice? When have we ever heard Sarah speak significant Mandarin or Cantonese? And conversely, how often have we seen Sarah speak perfectly fluent English? The fact that the radio host doesn’t know which one of the two she speaks, if any at all, tells us they don’t know whether she can, in fact, speak either. So is it really a nice gesture to assume she can?
And to the second point, intent - the radio host didn’t intend it to be offensive, therefore it’s not racist. Does no ill-intent mean no racism?
Let’s think about another situation with no ill-intent. “You’re really funny for an Asian!” It’s a compliment, right? There’s no intention of offending, so it can’t be racist, right? But just think about what is implied here - why the qualification “for an Asian”? The underlying assumption is that Asians are not funny, but you, well you’re funny and I’m surprised that you’re funny because you’re Asian. The intent of the statement may not be bad, but the underlying thoughts and assumptions that one might have are clearly racist - that Asians are not funny.
So back to the original greeting to Sarah. Let’s think about the underlying (and probably unconscious) assumptions when the radio host greeted her with “ni hao ma”. Well despite Sarah being on a national TV show, talking on camera in English in dozens of episodes, what’s implied by this question is that you must be Chinese and you must speak Chinese because, to me, you look Chinese. Even if Sarah has talked about her Chinese heritage in the past does not mean she identifies as Chinese, in the same way someone of British heritage but was born and raised in Australia might not identify as British.
Despite Sarah being Australian, she, and many others who aren’t white, are still treated as a foreigner in their own country. This is not okay.
Let’s just flip races for a second. Let’s say an Australian who has German parents just got evicted. In what world would an Aussie radio host greet this completely white looking person who speaks completely fluent Aussie English with, “Guten morgen”? Let’s be honest, this would never happen. But yet somehow it was seen as appropriate to do this to someone that looked Chinese to them. Because somehow, in Australia, you’re not fully Australian unless you’re white.
“But why did Sarah have to respond so harshly?”, I hear you say. “Why didn’t she educate them?” “It’s so divisive when people are trying to come together.”
Firstly, I would argue that she did educate them by calling them out on it and asking them to “do better”. But right in the moment? I can’t speak for how she was feeling, but when faced with a greeting like that right before a radio interview, I for one would be stunned. It takes so much energy to not lash out and to instead calmly explain why the question is problematic or ask thought provoking questions. but in the moment, it’s understandable to not be able to process it all right then and there.
Secondly, why is it always on the minorities to educate the majority? As radio hosts, isn’t it their job to know who they’re talking to? And as a “multicultural” country, isn’t it our job to understand racial issues, especially of people who aren’t the same as us?
It’s tiring. It’s tiring to face these sorts of microaggressions all the time. It’s tiring having arguments with friends as to why certain comments are not okay. And it’s tiring having to always be calm and approach these comments with thoughtful questions instead of being angry that we’re still having these things being said to us.
Sarah Tiong shouldn’t have to explain why it’s racist, but she did, and did so very well, but somehow, my Asian family, we still don’t seem to be on the same page.
I get it, we Australians like to proudly display our multiculturalism; we’re good at calling out overt, derogatory racism and racist physical attacks. And let’s be honest, no one likes being called a racist. But the uncomfortable reality we have to live with is that racism runs deep in our blood, and the really tricky part is that we may not even realise we have these views.
So maybe the next time someone calls out something as racist and you personally don’t think it is, have a think about the underlying assumptions. Could there be beliefs we or they have that could cause them to say something like what they did? What’s implied by these beliefs? How can I support this person of colour?
Maybe when we all have a better understanding of each other, then we might be able to stop having these same conversations over and over. But until then, I don’t intend to conform to what others expect me to be just because I look Chinese, and Sarah shouldn’t have to either.
Sincerely,
Jay Ooi
